Archive for the Humor Category
Funny video of what a youth pastor shouldn’t be.
Thanks to xbox360fanboy131 for the video.
A prophets perdection of how Washington DC will look after Obama is done with it !
Ed Young, pastor of Fellowship Church, talks about the power of words and the danger of using offensive language to communicate the gospel…but does He really need to use the words he’s telling others not to use to get his point across!! Judge for your self.
If you think you’ve heard it all…think again…here’s another one for the “signs and wonders” archives…
A. a consuming awareness of God
B. deep conviction of sins
C. an abandoning of all worldliness
D. pastors kicking ladies in the face with their biker boots
Believe it or not, D appears to be the correct answer according to Todd Bentley and his violent circus of laughter down in Florida.
30. Your church has replaced the pulpit with a bar stool (and possibly a bar or your church is in a bar).
29. You once read a good story about some Jewish people and a cross.
28. You engineer every conversation so you are able to use the phrase, “you can’t put god in a box,” and laugh like you’ve said the funniest thing in the word.
27. You make everyone define everything before you begin a conversation. Since this takes forever you never really have a conversation.
26. You think hell is a construct somewhere in Tennessee.
25. You think everything is a metaphor for something else.
24. When you hear the word “Orthodox” all you think about is the great food at the Greek Festival every year.
23. You think “Patristics” is a new brand of snack food.
22. Church history started when your pastor was born.
21. The only Creed you know is a once-popular musical act.
20. You only curse around fundamentalists.
19. You leave your church because the sermon was not obscure enough.
18. You refer to your local assembly as “church,” “synagogue,” or “mosque” depending on who you are talking to.
17. Your blog is a rant about how everyone else rants too much.
16. You brag that you have never been pinned down theologically on any issue.
15. The only thing you are sure of is that others cannot be sure of anything.
14. You bring your own wine to communion.
13. You are offended when someone says they are going to “Preach the Gospel” or “Teach the truth” believing they should just “Tell a story.”
12. Instead of a tract, you carry a can of Play-doh in your back pocket.
11. Your website links to Green Peace and the Democratic National Convention just because conservatives are against it.
10. You start a Christian blog, but leave it blank, fearing that you might offend someone.
9. You are not any good at art, yet you continue to present the Gospel by painting stick figures on recycled paper.
8. When you present the Gospel, Heaven is renamed The Matrix and you call Christ Neo.
7. Your church caters from Whole Foods.
6. Every sermon illustration begins with “The other night I was drinking a beer and . . .”.
5. You have yet to read the book of Romans believing Paul was too modern in his thinking.
4. Your car has a bumper sticker that reads “I think my boss is a Jewish carpenter but I can’t know for certain.”
3. You don’t worship on Sundays because everyone else does.
2. You evaluate truth by asking how many people hold to it. If it is too popular, then it is wrong.
1. When someone calls out your name you get angry saying, “Don’t label me.”
You look at a beautiful painting and you say to yourself, “There must have been a painter.”
You look at a motor vehicle of great workmanship and you say to yourself, “There must have been a manufacturer.”
You look at a meticulously detailed sculpture and you say to yourself, “There must have been a sculptor.”
You look at a massive bridge spanning a large body of water and you say to yourself, “There must have been an engineer.”
You look at a tall building and you say to yourself, “There must have been a builder.”
You look at a complex computer program and you say to yourself, “There must have been a programmer.“
You look at a well-written best-selling novel and you say to yourself, “There must have been an author.”
You look at the human body and say to yourself, “This must have been the product of an accident. A long time ago absolutely nothing from absolutely nowhere exploded and not only created absolutely everything, but also created order and it all occurred as a random accident.“
The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God” (Psalm 14:1).
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words (Proverbs 23:9).
A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge is easy to one who has understanding (Proverbs 14:6).
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes (Proverbs 12:15).
The foolishness of God is wiser than men (1 Corinthians 1:25).
God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27).
The wisdom of this world is foolishness before God (1 Corinthians 3:19).
A natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them (1 Corinthians 2:14).
The word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God (1 Corinthians 1:18).